IT’S HERE- my last post from the last few weeks all about our big day!
I hope I’ve not harped on too much, but I wanted to make sure that I wrapped things up (in a silk 2.5mm pale blue ribbon) with a handy last post and any final takeaways that might be useful for you to take in to any planning, or share with anyone who might be getting wed-werwhelmed (catchy) whilst in the throes of planning- because hey, sometimes it can feel like a lot.
The thing about a wedding is that everyone’s cliché advice is that for a reason. Despite the things people tell you that you end up rolling your eyes incessantly to, I promise you’ll look back and think ‘Oh god, maybe Aunty Lorraine was right all along…’ There can feel a pressure to live up to a ‘best day of your life’ standard, but try to put expectations (societal and your own) to one side, and soak it up. Despite being incredibly exciting, planning a wedding can be an intense, plate spinning process (especially when juggling work, a social life and other commitments- monetary or otherwise). It’s okay to slow things down, take your time and do things at your own pace. Push it back if you need to- and know that there isn’t a right or wrong timeline for your special day. It’s about the two of you- and whether you’re planning an elopement, town hall party or fairytale escape, it will be perfect because it’s yours, I promise.
Anyway- I thought I’d put a final few of my favourite lessons from the process below. I didn’t expect to come away with buckets of wisdom after planning our day- but thought I’d share a favourite few takeaways! If you have anything invaluable to add, please do add them below too…
Work out your non-negotiables…
At the beginning of planning, it truly feels like everything is a non-negotiable. You HAVE to have the antique floral plates, doughnut wall, fire-breathers and neon signage. Everything feels MAKE OR BREAK. But when number crunching comes in (read: very early on), it can feel like things go from being totally possible, to quite the opposite. But- the biggest thing when planning is to work out what is a non-mover. Wedding planning will present a Venn diagram of the things that will and won’t work together (e.g, if you are set on a wedding overseas, you might have to accept that might mean not everyone you want to be there will be able to come)- but work out what is key. If you’re set on a flourishing guest list, perhaps a venue close to home is the best idea. Some venues will have strict recommended supplier lists, so if you’re set on certain foods, suppliers or photographers- it’s worth baring this in mind. We saw one venue we loved but knew we’d have to compromise on everything based on who they had down as preferred DJs, photographers, caterers and florists, so it’s important to be mindful of this (as sometimes all of them can be quite pricey). So set your budget, and try and stick to it. Things can spiral very quickly if you let them, and although it’s an incredibly special day- that’s exactly what it just is too- a day.
Delegate, delegate, delegate!
If you’re time poor, I can’t recommend enough pulling in an extra pair of hands as and where you can. Although we didn’t have a planner (despite being something we seriously considered- and if you’re getting married abroad highly recommend), later on in the process we did have the assistance of Angela from Italian Eye Events and the wonderful stylist Sam Latham– and it couldn’t have been more valuable. Having someone able to negotiate with suppliers, dot the i’s and cross the t’s and make sure everything came together (including small details we hadn’t thought about) can be a real load off your mind. We knew what we wanted our day to look like, but just finally tying things together towards the end when we had a lot on felt like quite a challenge, and couldn’t have been more needed. This is where a stylist- or even a trusted family member who understands the kind of ‘vision’ you’re after is an amazing addition. Talk to your bridesmaids and utilise people’s skills if they’re offering them. Don’t be too polite to ask for help- people are often thrilled to be involved and lend a hand, so ask if you need to!
Once you’ve decided on something- STOP SCROLLING
Once you’ve confirmed a detail- be it flowers, table settings or invitation design- close the book (or Pinterest) on it and settle. You will end up changing your mind 500 times otherwise, because there are SO MANY gorgeous options always popping up, and you will find yourself becoming more confused instead of more decisive. Trust your instinct and don’t overthink it.
Don’t sweat the small stuff
Ironically- small things really do feel rather insignificant on the day (after feeling VERY important), so don’t worry if you’re unsure if the ribbon is slightly too thick (?!), you’ll definitely be too swept up in Pimm’s, dancing and excitement to care on the day. If something small goes wrong too, try not to let things effect you- or taint the overall specialness of the day. There’s really not time to worry that the napkins might not be folded in the right way, that your car was late or that someone’s shoes are the wrong colour. Even as a chronic control freak I loosened my grip a lot and I was so glad I did, there are so many bigger fish to fry and although the small things are lovely- they won’t make or break everything.
People say spend time together on your day, and if you can, taking a few minutes to go ‘OMG- can you believe?!’ together is really lovely. So many people told us to do this, and although I was a little bit like ‘um, we spend all day together normally anyway’ it was a really nice thing to do. After the ceremony, Joe and I ducked away for a quick sip of a drink whilst people gathered for the ‘confetti throw’ (how official) and it was so lovely to just be with each other, soaking up the surreal and appreciating everything that had just happened. The day goes so, so quickly- so being able to spend even a few minutes together quietly is a really special way of letting it sink in a little more.
Put comparison in the bin from the get go. You don’t need everything you see on Pinterest, or Instagram, or Facebook. Charger plates are lovely but so is affording a honeymoon (clue is in the name with them, I suppose) and a lot of the photos on you see of weddings online are from shoots (with huge teams and budgets), fashion editorials and shows. That doesn’t make them less lovely, but it does mean that you’re not expected to need everything all at once. Spending more money doesn’t make for a more special day and you don’t need to do everything to impress your guests. When we started planning we thought about garden games, fireworks, a pizza van (honestly, you name it)- but people really are just happy to be there. As long as you have good company, drinks and something to keep people full- it’ll all come together. Anything extra is a bonus (and obviously welcome if you do want to do it)- but just don’t apply too much pressure on yourself. It’ll be special no matter what.
Photos: The Curries