Lifestyle · March 25, 2019

Let’s Talk Weddings, Weight & Pressure

There have been lots and lots of wonderful things that I’ve enjoyed about wedding planning. Despite the minor stresses (finally sending out invites last week had me both breathing deep sighs of relief and going clammy handed all at once), it’s been a series of lovely tasks to tick off and things to think about- which, ultimately, I hope- will end up with a really lovely party at the end of it.

But, with all of the planning, a few things keep popping up which have had me scratching my head again and again- with one thing being the wedding diet and weight loss culture surrounding the preparation for the big day.

I’ve seen articles on it, I’ve seen people talk about it- and more frequently than I care to enjoy, I’ve been asked about it too. Losing weight and changing how we look in the lead up to this one day is so common, that sometimes I think we stop to question why we actually do it, and why it’s so heavily engrained into part of a commitment and ceremony, which ultimately has nothing to do with the way we look. Until the wedding preparations began, I very rarely picked faults at my body shape. Yes I feel insecure and uncertain of it at times, but not in the under-a-microscope way I think society likes to think we need to when planning a wedding.

If anything, I want to make sustainable changes that shouldn’t have to be commanded on top of the pressure of organising a huge party- where food, dancing and brilliant company reign supreme over everything else. I want to be able to maintain whatever I start (for example, I started going to the gym last Autumn, which although felt ‘timely’ is something I wanted to do for fitness gain before, and after the wedding) and I don’t want to look back at my wedding and think ‘christ Liv, that’s as good as you’re going to get’ and keep referring back to that.

Yes I want to look happy and lovely and pretty (and all of those wonderful adjectives), of course I do- I’m only human. But I don’t want to feel unrecognisable. Or peckish. Or regretful that I didn’t lap up every moment of this incredible time. Of course I want to feel my best, but the expectation of applying an unattainable standard of something to myself at an already demanding time seems ridiculous, right? I mean- I’d like to think Joe is marrying me (and vice versa) because he already quite likes me? He’s seen me when I resemble Russell Brand in the morning! Give the man a medal! (Ahem)! Is there this pressure on men in the wedding lead up? Perhaps- but I’m sure when Joe’s sat down for dinner he hasn’t been asked about whether he’s ‘going to give a wedding diet a go?!’ Before I started wedding planning, in a knee jerk reaction I started thinking about when the ‘right time’ would be to start thinking about these things- and you know what? There isn’t a right time.

The right time isn’t before a wedding- but it’s when you decide you want to. If ever. Perhaps your big day might be the prompt you’d like, but trust me when I say if you don’t want to change anything before you get married- for gods sake, don’t. If you’ve never had a bikini wax before, don’t feel you have to do it now. If you’ve never plucked your eyebrows, set foot on a treadmill or even worn a set of fake eyelashes- don’t pressure yourself to. Those things truly do not matter. Obviously, with big events brings opportunity to try something new (hello a great fake tan!) BUT, cease those moments only when they feel right and not because you feel you ‘have’ to. You are brilliant as you are, and trust me when I say you don’t need this special time to set a benchmark for an unattainable version of yourself. Really.

So, if like me- you’re drowning in stamps, to do lists and cake trials- have your cake, eat it too and scrape the plate with a bloody fork afterwards. Hopefully you’ll only have to do this once, so soak up every last drop.

x




5 Comments

  • Reply
    Ron
    March 25, 2019 at 11:01 am

    Oh. My. God. Thank you for that, Olivia. I’m currently few months away from my wedding and I’ve been pressuring myself to diet and lose weight since the start of 2019. I’ve been on and off about it because god does it make me unhappy. Thank you, thank you! Sometimes, we just need someone to say it’s okay.

  • Reply
    Abi Purvis
    March 25, 2019 at 12:43 pm

    Preach it!
    Don’t let anyone tell you how you should look, enjoy each day of this exciting lead up to your wedding not fretting about tweeking your body for wedding photos. Enjoy then moment and be you. You will look beautiful on the day either way x

  • Reply
    Ruth
    March 25, 2019 at 3:04 pm

    This, this, this! I’m starting to plan my wedding and what I want my dress/make up to look like, and the fact that I want a red lip, which I wear often and is very ‘me’ has been met with odd looks from close family. I don’t want to look different just for the sake of my wedding day. And my fiance knows exactly what he’s getting, for better or worse!
    Ruth / http://www.ruth-writes.co.uk

  • Reply
    Chloe
    March 26, 2019 at 11:08 am

    Liv, I bloody loved this post. There shouldn’t be pressure on wedding diets or looking a certain way of your wedding, it should be about being happy x

    http://www.chloeharriets.com/

  • Reply
    Forest
    March 31, 2019 at 11:10 am

    Totally agree with everything you’ve said!! Refreshing and true! You go girl!!!!

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