I was in my loft earlier this week digging around for some old magazines (I am an absolute sentimental hoarder and have boxes of bits I’ve had for well over a decade)- and came across the first issue of Cherrybomb and some of my most treasured issues of Lula Magazine (back when dream girl Leith Clark was the editor) sitting in a box.
I flicked through them quickly, and something inside me shifted a bit. I felt a spark of what it felt like when I started my blog over 12 years ago. A bit like when someone goes into the attic in a film and sees a little light in the corner, or a little box of treasured covered up. Something that needed dusting off, and a bit of magic hiding underneath.
It reminded me about why I started my blog all those years ago. The genuine giddy thrill and love of clothes, of fashion- or seeing these beautiful photoshoots adorn the pages, that would inspire me to go out at weekends with a beehive myself- almost in my own world; completely enamoured and inspired by what I’d flicked through. How I genuinely didn’t care about what people thought about how I’d dress- if I felt good, that’s what mattered- a confidence, which perhaps over the years, has become a tiny bit lost along the way.
It was the excitement of wanting to talk about that feeling, share that experience and those clothes and stories with someone; anyone who might listen and read it too. The pages of magazines that feel so special, that twelve years later I still can’t bare to part with them. It’s what connected me when I was in my halls at uni, to other girls across the country and the world- all tapping away and sharing this mutual spark. A lot has changed since then, and sometimes with the now cynical (but often completely justified) view there is of influencer culture, it’s easy to be told that you’re only doing this to ‘sell people stuff they don’t need’ and influence people to spend, spend, shop, shop. And I know maybe that’s how it seems, sometimes. Of course I work with brands I’m lucky enough to love, and that pays the bills (a wild concept to me of 13 years ago). But the reason I still post here, and loved going through all of those old pages, is because sharing my silly little outfits, and sharing my silly little thoughts feels different to that. Picking up those magazines feels different to that. I didn’t buy those magazines to feel like I was being sold to. Maybe I was- but I so often came away appreciating the magic there was in fashion; whether it was within my reach or not (and weirdly, despite never being able to afford it- it never felt unattainable). How things can make you feel; and almost how you can be whoever you want to be; whether that’s cool or not. The same reason those pages carry weight and inspiration all these years later.
I’m not entirely sure what I’m trying to say here (maybe I’m over tired or over excited by the scanner or my period has completely taken wind) but part of me just wants to bring that back a bit. I know I’m not a hot fashion magazine and not somewhere you’ll necessarily come for the newest look books and fashion news- but part of me wants to just share a few more of the things that inspire me like that. Be it new collections I’ll be trying to take inspiration from or just things that are a little bit more off the cuff. Maybe trying a few snazzy shoots again? I don’t know- we’ll see. Thoughts like this- that are half formed and from the heart. A messy magical marriage of trying to keep things a bit more candid, whilst still taking joy in trying to recreate some of the glitter in those pages. I’m no Leith Clark (ah, a girl can dream) and this is no Violet, or Lula- but there’s something good left in blogs yet that feels worlds away from the comparison and bubble that is Instagram, and I hope you’ll stick around for a while longer to soak some of that up with me too.