It’s safe to say that after the weather became more than overcast 22-degree days my summer wardrobe went into an inevitable meltdown. ‘U.K summers aren’t meant to be like this!’ it whelped at me as I dug through for another pair of shorts that I’d long misplaced since panic buying a lone pair last year for a last minute holiday…
My wardrobe solely consisted of only knee length dresses, jumpers and fabrics that are probably meant to heat you up opposed to cooling you down. It was a polyester vintage shop nightmare, solely assisting with running-to-train swears than anything else- with heavy threaded denim and cropped jeans being my only serious summer option…
So this week I inevitably had one of those silly moments. When, after trying on about 3 pairs of old jeans that didn’t fit- banished myself to midi and maxi dresses even though the weather was comfortably some of the hottest it had ever been at the U.K. I’d told myself I’d feel more comfortable never baring my pale pins and hiding everything away until the summer quickly passed and we’d be back into deniers before we knew it.
But guess what? I had a mini revelation. It might sound completely ridiculous, but realising that instead of trying to fit into old clothes you can, in fact, buy new ones- felt groundbreaking. Why do we punish ourselves into trying to constantly conform to our ‘old’ selves, for better or, realistically, for worse? So instead of looking at old shorts that no longer looked right, I bought a new pair.
Now, I can’t express how freeing it is to accept that to love your body and be happy, you don’t have to be at the lowest weight you’ve ever been at, and knowing that weight and happiness do not run parallel is a huge relief when you realise it.
And you know why those jeans didn’t fit? Because I’ve really, really enjoyed myself over the last year. I’ve eaten delicious meals in places I never thought I’d visit, I’ve moved into an area that (fortunately or not) offers Deliveroo as an option (which means Friday night takeaways are a ‘thing’ and a total pleasure) and I’ve worried less about clothes and more about looking out for number one (that’s yours truly FYI).
Okay some old jeans don’t fit- but having not worn them for over a year maybe they hadn’t fitted for a while? WHO CARES! It’s okay to want to become fitter, look after your mental health and tone up- of course it is- but don’t let your fear of a number on an item of clothing stop you enjoying clothes. Summer can feel like a tricky time if you don’t ooze body confidence, and this is a note to say- I hear you.
This is a post for all the ladies- of all sizes, afraid to pull on a pair of shorts, a bikini or anything that pushes them out of their day-to-day comfort zone. If you feel like you can, do- and if not, know that your value, beauty and strength is so much more than a number inside a garment. Summer is just a season, but looking out for yourself lasts a lifetime.