But I digress! After having a think about how I could document the ol’ birthday on the blog I thought I’d write down a few of the life lessons I’ve learnt over the last year (and arguably the last one that people say ‘Oh! You’re so young’ in response to me disclosing my age). I feel like I’m gradually becoming a little bit less of a nervous Purvis and more of a self-assured Susan (I still got a way to go), but thought I’d try and share some of my pearls of wisdom, in case you’re someone who feels a little unsure of things and know that you can take Aunt Liv’s advice- as I am now a fully established member of the wise-at-25 club. Ahem.
Nothing is linear
Whether that’s career based, milestone marked or anything else- things won’t always happen in a straight line and although things may seem like they’re not happening at a pace or time you’d like them to- things take their time. One thing my friend Charlotte always says is ‘things are always working out for me’- and I definitely think that’s something to remember (she’s a wise lady). Things will happen, and good things come to those who wait (and often save money, so slow down Liv- it’s fine to not shop every hour on the hour).
Trust your gut (food requests and otherwise)
One thing I feel I’ve gotten better at as I’ve gotten older is trusting my gut. Whether it’s from knowing when a band are about to become ~cool~ (so GO ON LIV, SEE ‘EM AT ROUGH TRADE BEFORE YOU CAN’T) (half joking) or taking on, or contrarily not taking on a project because it feels, or doesn’t feel right- knowing your own mind is something I’m starting to feel far more confident with and it’s become so useful. There are certain elements of my job where I now know instinctively where to say yes and no to, and things I will and won’t do because it does or doesn’t sit in line with my values. That sounds a lot deeper and intense than it was meant to, but basically- if you think you’re doing the right thing for you, you probably are. Nobody gets you like you, girl!
Self-confidence takes a while #fakeittilyamakeit
And that’s ok- because year on year, you might get a tiny bit better. Contrary to what my friends might believe when they get me going on karaoke- I’m never going to be the most confident person in the room, but with time you’ll (hopefully) become a little more assured in knowing yourself, knowing what you’re good at and realizing that you do in fact have some kick-ass qualities that only you could have. Sometimes it’s a matter of faking in until you make it, but sometimes even pretending you know your value and walking around with a confident head up is enough to give you the boost that makes the real thing happen.
Water your friendships like plants (BUT NOT IF YOU’RE RUBBISH AT WATERING PLANTS)
Or however that quote goes? That, or as my mum always, always says ‘only care about people who care about you’. Obviously this is pretty useless when it comes to caring about Alex on Love Island (I will always care Alex and your time WILL come), but it’s something I feel only becomes more and more applicable as you get older and meet new people and try to maintain existing friendships too. Although I could write a whole essay on friendships and what I’ve learnt so far in my twenties, if this last couple of weeks has taught me anything- it’s that you can’t put a cost on a good group of friends, and looking after those friendships is the most important thing you can do. Making most of the special people around you that you already have is absolutely key. Which leads me nicely onto my next point of…
You Can’t Change People
If someone thinks you’re a pain in the ass, doesn’t want to hang out with you or you just don’t gel- that’s fine- BACK OFF PURVIS. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but something I’ve learnt is sometimes people are only meant to be in your life for a short time (deep, I know). You can’t make people like you (no matter how many annoying/keen messages you might send- I have the tendency to be like a keen puppy), and not everyone will see the world from your point of view, no matter how kind, considerate or thoughtful you think you’re being. Instead, focus on the people that do care and do value your time, self, and terrible, terrible sense of humour- I promise it’ll be far less exhausting in the long run.
So that’s that! A nugget of learning’s from the last year- let me know if you’d like more posts like this, as I’ve quite enjoyed having a real natter on here!
What are the most valuable things you’ve learnt? This girl wants to know!